This story by Suzanne Graydon was produced by Uncloseted Media, an investigative LGBTQ-focused news publication.
This Southern Christian tells us about her faith and her love for her gay best friend.
My name is Suzanne Graydon. I’m 47 years old and I was born and raised in the Bible Belt. I live at home with both my parents and just down the road from many of my siblings and amazing nieces and nephews.
I love FaceTiming with my friends, drinking coffee in the morning and sweet cocktails at night, and spending time with my family in rural North Carolina, whether that be at church or just lounging around at my sister Karen and her husband Seth’s big castle.
A lot of people try to put labels on me. But to me, I just tell people I think very deep and outside the box.
I also have two people inside of me: Suzanne, who is the regular old me, and Queen Suzie, who some may think is more of a fantasy but is real to me. Sometimes, I guess I just want to be a royal, where I feel like I’m at a castle and people are bowing down to me.
But don’t worry, I share the crown with a lot of my friends, including Seth’s brother Sean, who is my best friend.
Actually, he’s more than a friend—he is my brother because he is family to me.
I met Sean when I was 23 and he was 16, and we hit it off right away. I remember eating popcorn together after Bible Study, dancing at balls, praying together and always having the best time.
So when Sean moved to New York City at 17 years old, I knew I had to keep in touch. We would talk on the phone and exchange juicy gossip over email.
One day, shortly after Sean turned 18, I got an email to my AOL account from him: “I’M GAY. What do you think?” it read.
Oh My Word! I thought to myself. But I wasn’t surprised. I actually kind of knew all along. Queen Suzie is like an FBI agent. Please don’t underestimate me.
To answer Sean’s question, I did have to think. I had been raised to believe by everyone around me that the Bible teaches that being gay and acting on it is unnatural and—in the Lord’s eyes—sinful. You might even go to hell for something like that.
But I loved Sean and I had already made up my mind that I was gonna love him no matter what. I didn’t care what the cost could be and I wasn’t afraid to tell people, even if that meant commenting on Facebook to family members who disagreed with me.
As time passed, I thought about other parts of the Bible. In John 15:13, Jesus says that the greatest form of love is to lay down one’s life. That means the greatest act of love is to die for someone (I know scripture like the back of my hand). And I would die for Sean, that’s how much I care about him.
But guess what? Fortunately, that’s not gonna happen. I just don’t believe that I’m gonna have to die because I accept Sean and don’t believe who he is or what he does is sinful.
So over the next 20 years, while many other people in Sean’s family distanced themselves, including his parents, I became even closer to him. We hung out in Miami and went to fun dinners with our family, to the movies and even to the beach. I’ve gone to visit him in New York City and he’s come here a few times, including right now with his boyfriend, Spencer, who actually runs Uncloseted Media.
The last few decades of friendship with Sean have been amazing. And guess what? I’m still a Christian.
It’s always a tricky question for me when it comes to how I feel about my Christianity. And at 47, I still ask myself questions and I admit that I haven’t figured it all out.
But I do believe that Christianity is at its most beautiful when there is no strife. I like it when it’s chill and relaxing and loving. And as it relates to Sean, if what he does is healthy and not harming anybody, what’s the problem?
Queen Suzie has been the underdog and Sean has always been there for me, and he’s never wavered. He’s actually been my ally, like when he helped me make my resume so I could apply for a job at Dunkin’ Donuts. And guess what? I got the job.
To me, being an ally to Sean means being there for him no matter what. I want him to know that this is a friendship worth sticking with and I am never going to leave him. God says that “I will never leave or forsake you,” and that is how I feel about my allyship with Sean.
I am here until the fat lady comes out and says it’s time to die. And even in heaven, I hope to have Sean and Spencer sit next to my throne and we can all rejoice and feast.
I love you Sean!
Suzanne (Queen Suzie)
Spencer Macnaughton assisted with the writing and reporting in this story.
